Viagera

– Viagera –
The use of.
Boy, I bet that got your attention.

Many months ago now when I had one of my six monthly check up for my blood pressure test and age related conditions with my friendly Irish doctor who I have a good relationship with. It must be said that it took a number of regular 6-monthly appointments for him to understand me and my sense of humour. Visiting ‘Him’ after he had completed all the tests, some being with the old machine of pumping up a band on my arm and reading the results and then saying I want you to pee into this bottle and me saying “What from here” together with all other tests he would subject me too. I would always leave his consulting room by telling him a near the knuckle joke. One occasion I said to him that recently I had been given a 30-tablet box of Viagera and I didn’t think very much of them, his face was a picture, one of shear disbelief. “Whaaaat” he exclaimed, [remember Viagera was first ‘invented or discovered’ for those of us who suffer with high blood pressure and it was found that it ‘worked’ in other areas as well – true.] “Yes – true”, I said , “Only twenty eight of them worked”. Pause, he then twigged and I left his consulting room left with both of us laughing. However he told me that should I require them he would be perfectly willing to prescribe them. I feel that at the moment I don’t need them, however in the future it may be a different requirement.

I am perfectly happy with the relationship I have with most people and authorities, I treat them as I expect them to treat me, nine times out of ten it works for me, there are some occasions when consulting some persons in authority when they don’t seem to have a sense of humour and my humour falls short, I think, ‘Poor sod” for them to live life like that with their dull existence.

Do I talk to inanimate objects, yes I do, do I hug trees, yes I do, do I talk to flowers, yes I do, do I talk to animals yes I do am I crazy, yes I am, do I talk to my computer when it goes pear shape and wont work and tell it I’m going to replace it with a laptop, does it then behave perfectly well, yes it does. Do inanimate objects have a life, yes they do, I have proof – photographs, yes that right, I have photographs of a ‘Rose’ bleeding to death as a results of being damaged.

For one of my lady friends a number of months ago now for her birthday I bought two dozen red roses, I released that perhaps two dozen was a bit rich so I reduced them down to one dozen, the other 12 I left on the side of the table, I must have seriously damaged one of them for next morning I found it bleeding to death. Yes that’s right bleeding to death. Oh My Gosh, what should I do, there it was bleeding, streams of red blood from the stem. First aid treatment required, bandaging the wound to the stem and packing it in Ice, yep I did this and sure enough it work. It was standing up straight as its relations were a couple of days later.

I have proof. Watch my blog posting late on for photographs for the recovery of ‘The Bleeding Red Rose’.

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Christmas Present Smudge & Sid

I am very much a ‘Doggie’ man, there is no such thing as a bad dog only a bad owner. The ‘bad dog’ is only a sad reflection of an owner who, in the first place should never own a dog let alone have or be in charge of children. Their ability to understand, to control, set by example or understand the workings for the minds and behaviour of dogs let alone children is beyond me.

I speak from experience

For my daughter No 1 – [Sue] who ran two champion agility dogs Smudge – [My favourite] and Sid, sadly no more competing in agility competitions, their two dogs give so much love and affection its a wonder they can’t be more of a family member then they are, if only they could speak – !!!!

A Christmas present – [Dental bone chews] to each of them, Smudge and Sid gave this result.

Agility dogs, – Smudge and Sid, Click here. Click on slide Show.

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A Mugs Game.

– Who gambles? –

I will in all honesty state I don’t gamble now although it is said that living life is a gamble, OK given that, but for anything else now, no way.

I’ve have been to Casino’s and tried Roulette, Blackjack – [Pontoon], the Slot Machines, playing and understanding poker is way above me. In the Army we played a card gambling game called ‘Shot’, to long and complicated for me to explain the rules and how to play that which I was mildly successful at.

My entry into horse racing came by accident and from a sequence of events. The time I was in full time employment as the assistance transport manager of a large manufacturing firm in North Bristol my drivers would come in to the Transport office at 0630-hrs pick up their lorries and loads then trunk off to delivery their loads, not only for national deliveries but for the international continental deliveries as well. Each morning they would leave their betting slips with the money for me to visit the local ‘bookie shop’ during the morning and place their bets, next day pick up their winnings if any and place their new bets. My daily visits to the ‘bookies’ I soon learnt the language and the correct terminology to use. Some of my drivers were more successful [lucky] then others.

Given my daily visits I decided to give it a go for myself but first I laid down some hard and fast rules. I would give it 6-months, win or lose, muck or bust that would be it for me. I would keep a ‘book’ with my winnings or losses, income and or out goings. A book showing which track meeting, which horse, which jockey, which trainer and the stables the horse were stabled at.

The profit or loose account showed after 5-months and 27-days I was a number of pounds out of pocket, not a lot, but enough to make me concerned. As this was my last day I decided to go for broke, shit or bust. I picked out three horses from various tracks, placed fifty pounds to win on each, right on the nose. Bugger me all three came as ‘first’ past the post, my winning put me well into the profit margin. That was ‘It’ finished horse racing. From that day to this I’ve never bet on a horse again.

The Lottery. I gave this twelve months on buying each week ten lines of numbers [£10.00-p]. I installed on the computer a lottery program that would pick out the number it thought would be the most probable to come ‘Up’. Occasionally I won the odd ten pounds for the numbers but nothing that would put me into the profit margin. The best results I had was purely from chance and nothing that could be predicable, a numbers game of chance and luck. I placed in a plastic container 50-slips of paper with the numbers one to fifty and each week picked out from the container a slip with a number on, much the same as a raffle draw picking out a winning number, entered that on to the lottery slip, that method won me more money [sometimes fifth-pounds or so] then the computer forecasted numbers. The profit and Loss account showed I was very much out of pocket. After twelve months, that was it. No more.

Get rich schemes, gambling, or any schemes that tell you, you are a winner is only for the fools who think there are such things as a free dinner. – My answer is – “Get real”. For me there is no such thing as a free dinner or anything else come to that.

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Reflections.

– Years gone by –

Looking back over 2008 and the many years before that I’m trying to remember my missed opportunities – [not many] I’ve had, I remember the times I’ve said’ if only’ for some of them, but on reflection for none of us know what, why or where we would be if we had taken another fork in the road of our lives. The many divisions I could have taken, would they have lead me on or have given me the times and experience I’ve had, who knows? I know this and for sure I honestly believe that I’ve had many trails I’ve explored, many experiences, some good, some perhaps not so good and some bordering on, well, best forgotten but never the less experiences that have given me the life I have now.

I’m not a man who ‘acts on the spur of the moment’, but that doesn’t mean ‘I wont have a go’ at anything, I must think and plan it first. For me I hold with ‘Act in haste, repent at leisure’ I have and still can – [well I like too think so, health and physic permitting] the attitude, my way of thinking to have a go at anything albeit not as spontaneous as some people may think. I have on occasions acted spontaneously, a gut and knee jerking reaction to the circumstances and most times afterwards have felt sorry I did so but there was one event when I acted on the spur of the moment my reluctance being overridden by me being goaded by my then lovely partner to have a go at ‘it’.

‘It’ was, would you believe, conducting an full orchestra. – wow-!!!!.

Right then let me bring you up to speed with the events.

My then partner a fantastic lady ten years my junior. I’ve always thought what on earth she ever saw in me I’ll never know, but obversely she saw what ever it was and felt we should be together. She and I were very similar in everything, liked and enjoyed the same things, laughed at the same thing, like two peas in a pod. It is said that “Unlike poles [Magnetic] attract – like poles repel, well that physiological fact was proved wrong. We were as one.

Sadly she had a ‘Habit’ which I didn’t agree with, a habit which was completely foreign and one I was abhorrently against. I gave her the choice, the ‘habit’ or me, whether or not she wouldn’t or couldn’t get out of the habit I don’t know but it ended up with us sadly going our own ways. [Oh happy days we had together and those I will never forget].

We had three holidays in Tuscany – [Italy] within eighteen months together, for me to say I fell in love with Tuscany would be an understatement, I just loved that part of Italy and the Tuscanians [how do you spell that] people, fantastic, I just admired their way of life. Florence, Sienna, San Gimignano, the hill top towns – fantastic. For those who have never holidayed in Tuscany you don’t know what you’re missed.

Our third holiday spent in Tuscany was spent on a fact finding mission to find out what the property prices were with the intention of selling up in the UK and moving out there, our plan was to purchase a Guest house/villa for ‘her’ to run and me to carry on with my photography. In the mean time we even enrolled in a course at a language school to learn Italian. All things considered it was her family ties and commitment to a poorly sick daughter that made it impossible for us to sell up and go.

To cut a long story short, on our second holiday we went to a charity concert in Sienna in one of their huge halls. Half way through the concert members of the audience were invited to come up and conduct the orchestra for a fee. Being goaded on and with Chanti Dutch courage I was persuaded to have a go. I was the third in the queue and waiting for my ‘turn’ to conduct to say I was crapping myself I’ll to your imagination. I was asked what I would like the orchestra to play. The one piece I could remember was the Radetzky Marsch. I was told that would be OK and the orchestra could and would play that. You have to know I’m not musical, nor can I read music I would have to remember the Marsch from memory.

My turn, being introduced to the audience, mild applause, standing on the lectern, baton in hand, I was in shear terror, standing in front of a One hundred piece professional orchestra and 2000-people audience watching on.

I knew that I would have to take control of the orchestra, raising the baton to get their attention I told them I was left handed and would like all the wind instruments to move over to the left and and all the string instrument to move over to the right, the percussion to remain as they were. That got a laugh from them – [I had their attention] also that got a laugh from the audience as well.

I conducted. I knew that there are four moments in conducting, the finger moment, very light and quiet gentle sounds, the fingers and wrist moment, slightly stronger and more louder sounds, elbow moment stronger and then the the shoulder with arm moments the most strongest and the loudest sounds, [there I told you I know nothing about music.]. I was told afterwards in the refreshment room most of the orchestra followed my conducting and only a small number of the orchestra had followed the score – what ever that means – !!!

I conducted for a full three and half minutes where as the other ‘potential’ conductors only got two and a half minutes, come to that I got a standing ovation as well. Not that I can remember much about it, walking off the lectern, gone in flash of a shear terror. I can honestly say I have never been more terrified and scared in my whole life other than then. After I had recovered with the help of a number of glasses of Chanti I must admit I enjoyed ‘it’.

[What on earth is meant by a three or four beat, upbeat or down beat I didn’t know then and I still don’t even today.]

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Vienna Philharmonic.

– The New Year’s Concert of the Vienna Philharmonic –

– Advanced Notification –
Screened on BBC 2 [UK] at 1115 – 1245-hrs Thursday 1st January 2009.

[A program not to be missed.]

It has long been a Philharmonic tradition at the New Year to present a program consisting of the lively and at the same time nostalgic music from the vast repertoire of the Johann Strauss family and its contemporaries. These concerts not only delight the audiences in the Musikverein in Vienna, but also enjoy great international popularity through the world wide television broadcasts, which now reach over 50 countries.

Originating during a dark period of Austria’s history, these concerts were initially conceived for a local audience as a reminder of better times and a source of hope for the future. Today millions of people throughout the world are similarly encouraged by the light-hearted yet subtly profound character of this music, and draw joy and optimism for the New Year ahead.

It is the desire of the Philharmonic not only to provide musically definitive interpretations of the masterworks of this genre, but at the same time, as musical ambassadors of Austria, to send people all over the world a New Year’s greeting in the spirit of hope, friendship and peace.

This year the Vienna Philharmonic New Year’s Concert 2009 will be conducted by Daniel Barenboim. – [A conductor unbeknown to me].

For those visitors who can not receive the BBC-TV it may, hopefully, be seen on here – [2nd January 2009].

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Santa’s Reindeer.

– Who would have believed it – !!! –

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

My comment: That’s right, females were put on this earth to serve us men folk.

Happy Christmas everyone and a very prosperous, healthy and good New Year.

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Coming soon – My new computer.

– More than a ‘Wish List’ –

Right then, Laptop computers. I am determine to go ahead in the new year [2009] and purchase a Laptop [17-inch] [if only to get ride of all clutter for all the now unused accessories and programs I have on my desktop computer station at the moment.]

I’m waiting for the Apple Mac Conference & Expo, The Moscone Center – San Francisco, CA – [Jan 5 – 6th] where I hope they will be announcing a new [updated] Unibody 17-inch MacBook Pro. A new 2009-edition and not similar to the summer edition for the 15-inch MacBook Pro. [year 2008.] Let me make this absolutely clear the new 15-inch MacBook Pro [Winter edition] Unibody much improved and better than the summer edition is thinner, more powerful, and years ahead of its time, it has a stunning, ultrathin LED-backlit display which gives you instant full screen brightness, pinch, swipe, or rotate to zoom in on text, advance through photos, or adjust an image. The NVIDIA GeForce 9400M + 9600M GT with up to 512MB of memory delivers leading-edge graphics processing, I’m not going to go through all the updated or ‘new’ innovations only to say that some of the improvements are the AirPort Extreme with 802.11n which is five times the performance and up to two times the range of 802.11g,4 as well as compatibility with 802.11a/b/g networks for ultimate Wi-Fi access and the latest Intel mobile architecture. The Core 2 Duo-based MacBook Pro is over 50% faster than the original Core Duo-based MacBook Pro and supports up to 4GB of RAM.

I’m hoping Apple Mac will announce they are bringing out the Unibody 17-inch Laptop similar to the new Unibody 15-inch laptop.

My Christmas present for grand daughter No 1 – I purchased the new 15-inch MacBook unibody Pro, [Winter edition] Intel Core 2 Duo 15-inch widescreen, 2GB Memory, 250GB hard, NVIDIA GeForce 9400M + 9600M GT with 256MB laptop for her. [believe me she is worth it] OK mega bucks, but hey who cares.

The new 15-inch MacBook Pro.

Money is but a tool to be used and for me with the bank rate as it at the moment getting interest on my savings I might just as well go ahead spend, spend and spend what savings I have and enjoy the hard earned saved cash and the interest I’ve had from my wheeling and dealings [at great risk] I’ve been involved with I can now reap the benefit on some of the interest I’ve had from dealings I’ve had on the stock and shares market, a gamble I know, but the portfolio managers I’ve had over a period of time, those that I have chosen have been excellent and proved to be most profitable. I’m not into that anymore for no one can predict with any degree of certainty how the ‘Market’ will perform. My stock and shares have now been realised and the capital invested in high interest accounts although I don’t think I will reap the benefit of those because of the time involved.

The Apple Mac retailer I’ve done business with and spent a disgustingly amount of money with over a 20-year period purchasing computers not only for me, my relations but for my friends as well and because of the amount of business I’ve done with them get a discount on any product I get from them. [The savings, sometimes £100 – 200-pounds, savings, hard cash in my pocket is better than in theirs – true.]

I do and I try to haggle with any trader even the supermarkets who are trying to extract money from me for the cost of the items I’m purchasing, To put it bluntly I don’t give a shit what they think of me, or how much inconvenience I cause to their business/check out, I want a discount. On one occasion I argued for over an hour with one trader who was adamant that they couldn’t give a discount as they didn’t bargained with their prices eventually gave in and gave me a ten per cent discount. I will say this, you have to have done your home work, you have to have a brave face, you have to be determined to go for it.

Apple MacBook go here and here. – Click on watch video

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Munsters – Rowe Family.

– A Proud Dad and Grandad –

I’m not given to showing photographs of my family for what ever reasons on my blog, but some how I thought I would share, for the Christmas period only, photographs of daughter No 1 and her family.

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New Direction – 2009.

– Laptop – New Computer –

I’ve taken stock of my ‘Computer Station’, or call it what you want together with all the computer accessories I’ve accumulated over the years, each piece I thought necessary at the time of purchase and have been used for the various projects I’ve been involved in. My computer, Apple MacIntosh Mac OS X 10.4.11 System -Tiger, [much modified] has served me well in it’s life, only once did it failed and that was purely the stupidity of the operator, finger problem but who hasn’t suffered with that over a period of time. My friendly Apple Mac sales manager soon put me right and showed me where I had gone wrong, we both had a good laugh he told me not to worry as a lot of inexperienced user did exactly the same as me.

I’ve always been of a mind the bigger and the heavier an object is – [there you see, size does matter to me] the better it is.

Over the last couple of years I’m having to change my thinking on that for everything electronically today has become miniature and light small enough for me to have in my pocket or carry over my shoulder.

I remember only too well whilst in the Army being a ‘Spec Op’ – [Radio Operator telegraph] having two trucks filled with radio equipment. It would take me a day to set up all the equipment to communicate to anywhere in the world and then it was more a ‘hit and miss’ with a little bit of luck if we managed to get through. In those days it all depended on the ‘Sun’, the activity on the Sun’s surface – [Sun Spots], the Ionosphere, Ariel used, direction, time of day and many other factors which could effect the distance which you could operate and communicate at. For me it was an absolute joy, happiness, satisfaction after setting everything up too send the initial call and get an answer returned. The thought of Satellite communication in those days pure science fiction.

Its seems so strange to me that to day I can use an object no bigger than a cigarette packet, punch in a few numbers and speak to anyone all over the world. All most instantaneously I can speak to some one who is in the outback in Australia, someone who is motoring somewhere in America, someone who is sitting on the top of Everest – !!!. – true. Today we think nothing for doing that, but I remember time when we wanted to talk on the telephone to someone overseas from the UK having to place a call to the international telephone operator and having to wait 6 to 12-hours before we could be connected and that was limited to 3-minutes only and cost a small fortune. Progress – wonderful.

Right then.

The time has come for me embrace, to realize, get with it, instead of my trusty Desktop Computer [weighing a ton] and to go for a Laptop. This will help me clear the clutter from the tabletop of my computer station.

Over the last 6-months I’ve bought 3-laptops, [of course Apple Mac’s] of various sizes, two as presents and one for a friend, seen and had ‘A Go On’, I admit I am impressed and my thinking is now completely altered about my computer station, get rid of all the unused and redundant programs, sell on the now defunct accessories items – [possibly e-bay] and purchase a Apple Mac laptop. – [17-inch, costing monopoly money but hey who cares].

I know this for its going to cause me some headaches that in January when the sales are on and reaping the benefit of the now 15-per cent VAT, purchase the Apple Mac 17-inch Laptop.

With this new computer hopefully, in fact I’m pretty sure will come a new and hopefully a new direction for my blog to go, out with the old, in with the new – !!! [WordPress – Struggling with HTML at the moment].

My Computer Station – [Out of disorder comes order]

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Sir Percy Blakeney.

– The Scarlet Pimpernel –

Why is that I am becoming or perhaps have become a Sir Percy Blakeney ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’. My dealings with the local authorities, the police and petty council officials, the party political candidates who constantly tell me they know best or for those who have crossed my path recently, is it because I considered them all as being a Citizen Chauvelin, I’m not of a mind to keep my identity a secret for I openly pen my name and address to any article or e-mail I write, I stand by what I write, Surprise, surprise in the main I do get a response to my many e-mails and letters with their answers, usually filled with gobbledegook jargon which for the life of me and any normal thinking person can not understand this only adds to my confused state of mind and I become more baffled then before.

All correspondence I write is written in a formal business fashion with facts and figures with at times a suggestion for a solution to correct a corrupt or new regulation which is obversely not for me or not for the benefit of the community. When I receive a reply it is written in kind, very business like and formal – I thought I would try a different tact write in a friendly, informal and bordering on being sarcastic and signing off as the ‘Scarlet Pimpernel’ – I’ll keep you posted if I get a reply.

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Sir or Madam or what ever gender you are.

It is with some reluctance that I have to send you this e-mail but in view of what is happening at the the moment I deem it necessary

I am completely confused and some what frustrated about the allocation of Green Wheelie bins, however some may argue that to make me confused and frustrated is relatively an easy thing to do but I do hasten to add my appearances and attitudes can be deceptive. I’m not given to constantly complaining about how you, the authorities seem to miss manage the environment I live in, quite the opposite in fact I’m full of praise for the way you manage to keep the area in and around my residence up too such a very high standard of environmental friendliness which can only be admired. I give you ten out of ten brownie points for that.

How you manage to correct the ever growing interference by the gangs of roving mutants, [I think you might know them as the youths of today] who take great delight in destroying the improvements you have made or are making and I’ve no wish to insult brain cells but they only have two brain cells between them in their groups and I’m being very generous at that, however, they do seem to be nocturnal and only come out at night-time. They are easy recognisable by the apparel they wear, congregate in bands/gangs, hooded and only communicate in grunts and obscene gestures. For me too say, they are failed medical experiments or failed-abortions perhaps would be a step to far, but never the less they are there. The Forth Bridge springs to mind.

Complaining to the local law enforce agency by telephone about their antics and behaviour reminds me so much of the ‘Key Stone Cops’ arriving two hours later after I complained about these mutants running around on the local school’s roof or to the vandalisation to the telephone box and threatening behaviour to local inhabitants going about their lawful business, smashing in shop fronts, using what is left of the flower beds as a communal toilet. When the local enforcement agency arrive with their ‘blues and twos’ going [heard from miles around] only to find nothing on-towards. Now there’s a surprise. I often wonder why I bother. No follow up action, no assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with. On the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around they drive around in my area in a Panda/police car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other useful purpose than to remind me what policemen and or the Beat Manager actually look like.

Secretly I must admit I do admire these mutants, I believe MI-5 or the SAS may recruit them in the future for their ability to remain anonymous and at the way they have very carefully planned the way to destroy the amenities you have so generously provided, paid for out my tax payments or, at the way they seem able to disappear with such speed when they hear the blue and twos going must be some sort of admirable ability on their part. . The SAS could study, copy and imitate their carefully planned operations about how they deploy their clandestine operations, of course with out fear of being identified, capture or any sort of reprisal.

The point of this e-mail is to inform you the reason why I’m more confused then ever, a couple of weeks ago now I noticed that all the black bins [household rubbish] in my allocated Bin /Area area had been replaced with Green Bins. Now baring in mind that I together with 8-other tenants live in a block of flats set me wondering if you had some sort of secret agenda that we were all going to be allocated with a ‘flat’ garden that would generate sufficient garden waste to fill 9-green bins emptied on a fortnightly basis or is it you know some tenants have set up in their flats a business breeding program for Rabbits, rodents, gerbils or hamsters which would generate large amounts of soiled grass, straw wood shavings, bedding required by them and the cardboard boxes filled with this material.

To refresh your mind for the use of the Green bins I have listed below what is allowed

Green bins – [These bins are for compostable garden waste and cardboard only.]

Compostable garden waste.
Grass, plants, twigs and branches.
Paper sacks and almost all cardboard including corrugated boxes cereal packets, soap powder boxes etc. unless the cardboard directly touches food.
Rabbit and pet rodent bedding.

NO HOUSEHOLD REFUSE ALLOWED.

Wanting to share in your secret agenda I telephoned the appropriate department and spoke to a very nice and intelligent lady who after I explained the situation immediately understood what my problem was and informed me that she would ask one of your inspectors to view the said bin area with the green bins. I know the inspector must have called because now we have not only 9 green bins but a nice new blue bin and a red one as well.

With out stating the obvious what are the tenants in my block of flats to do with their household refuse?

I know the tenants will deposit their household refuse in the the green bins which wont be emptied by the refuse collector to eventually spilling out on the ground and will be ripped apart by the mutants, rats, wild life and dogs causing a health hazard and we will receive from you at the end of January the inevitable letter saying a charge will be levied against us to clear and and clean the mess up. Incase this event happens rest assured I and the other tenants will picket your office’s with picket posters saying bring back our black bins.

May I please have your comments.

The Scarlet Pimpernel.
scarlet.pimpernal@blueyonder.co.uk

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